Why is it that we are uncomfortable with having nothing but the goodness of God to depend on? Is it because of some undetected sense of guilt, condemnation or pride?
At present this is our reality. We have done everything we know to do,yet question is there something we might have missed? And while we are being sustained to a degree, any signs of lasting or permanent change allude us.
So you will understand this writing and some others as well, my husband and I are self employed and like millions of others our business has been hit extremely hard this past year. Yes, I know, there is no recession in the Kingdom, but apparently our customers haven’t gotten that message. Thankfully some very selfless and generous people have.
So we wonder,is the willingness to keep standing a sign of faith, or is it an unwillingness to accept a reality that we are not happy with? At what point does one determine that what you thought was God really isn’t. Like I said, we are being sustained (of course sustained being a relative term in that what one person would describe as sustained another one would describe as something else), if you get my drift.
When it comes to walking by faith there are no black and white answers for any of us, how I wish it were that easy. You begin to question everything and wonder if maybe God might have been talking to someone else and you just happened to overhear the conversation and the word you are standing on wasn’t for you at all. There are days I think it is a miracle we are still here, not here as in being alive, but here as in living in the same house, and living to a casual observers attention the same life we always have, however we know the truth. Then there are days I think will we wonder down the road why we didn’t accept our misfortune and act sooner like some other people may have done. It isn't an easy road to walk. Like I always say, living by faith isn’t for sissies. It takes real guts to keep on keeping on when everything around you screams to give up, to lick your wounds and start over, or get your head out of the clouds, some of you would chose a different word than clouds, but whatever, you get the point
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Isn’t it funny how when you are first saved and learning about this walk of faith you would hear these wonderful accounts from others who were obviously much older in the Lord than you and you think gee, I want to live like that. Do you? I mean really? At least I did. I can remember begging God to teach me how to live like that. Every now and then he reminds me of that when I think I can’t take one more step, and there have been days when I have honestly felt like I couldn’t take one more breath. But I am still here, still standing, still hoping against hope (not quite sure what that means, only that is the way one version of the bible phrases the faith of Abraham).
One thing I do know, is that when it is all said and done even if we were to find out we completely missed God I believe that in spite of it all He is getting a kick out of watching us stand in faith, because trust me, at this point that is truly all we have. And I can rest in what the word says, and that is, without faith it is impossible to please Him so he must be super abundantly pleased or shaking his head at how ridiculously stupid we have been. I am trusting that one day I will be writing a post on the super abundant way God delivered us and that it ended up we weren’t so stupid after all, just gutsy enough to believe that with God nothing is impossible.
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