November 25, 2016

Well it appears Blogger has made some more changes and as a result my blog appearance is messed up and I do not have time until next week to fix it.  This happens every time they do any change.
November 25th 2016j

November 5, 2016

Fallow Ground Continued


My previous post was the revealing of my heart in a state of grief on a particular day.  The good news is that Jesus doesn't leave us there and I would be remiss to not also offer the hope that He has offered me following that post.Despite how we may feel on any given day God has given us promises in His word that address anything we will ever face in this life. We must remember our reality is based not on how we feel, or what our circumstances are but on the Word that remains forever.  


There is much given to us in the Word on grief and fruit bearing as well.  Below are some of the scriptures He has given me.  I have also put a link to a poem called The Gardener.  I have several I have written that deal with God being the gardener, Jesus being the vine and us being the branches.

Isaiah 53 states that Jesus himself bore our griefs and carried our sorrows, while Isaiah 61 tells us that He is the Anointed One sent to heal the brokenhearted and to comfort all who mourn. 

The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners,to proclaim the year of the LORD's favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion-- to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor. Isaiah 61:1-3

But I will restore you to health and heal your wounds,' declares the LORD....Jeremiah 31:17

The desolate land will be cultivated instead of lying desolate in the sight of all who pass through it. They will say, "This land that was laid waste has become like the garden of Eden; the cities that were lying in ruins, desolate and destroyed, are now fortified and inhabited." Then the nations around you that remain will know that I the LORD have rebuilt what was destroyed and have replanted what was desolate. I the LORD have spoken, and I will do it.'  Ezekiel 36:34-36

"I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener.He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful.  John 15:1-2

You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit--fruit that will last--and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you. 
John 15:16


The Pruning

My Father is the Gardener the Bible tells me so
But how long must I look like this I’d really like to know
You see I was a withered branch grafted into the vine
And though my boughs were beautiful 
I was pruned by love Divine
My Father is the Gardener and really wants to see
More fruit of love upon this branch 
as His word has commanded me
So with the greatest thought and care He’s cut into His branch
He knows exactly what to prune and where to put His shears
Yes my Father is the Gardener who’s not looking at today
But glancing at the years to come 
and the fruit I’ll bear one day
When He prunes a branch He loves it will appear its dead
But my Father is the Gardener I do not need to dread
For when the winter is over and flowers come bursting forth
The season of singing will come 
and the pruning will show its worth
Where once it looked like death, new life will appear
The breath of God will again be seen 
like the morning mist so clear
The Bridegroom will come and call for His wind from the
north and south, “Come blow upon this garden
and send its fragrance out
My Father is the Gardener who pruned you with love Divine
How delightful is your love now My sister and My bride!
The fragrance of your perfume better than any spice.
The perfume of your garment brings forth the aroma of life.”
Yes, my Father is the Gardener I will surrender and will wait
For the winter to be over and death no more my state
My Father is the Gardener and through me wants to show
His splendor and His glory to those who do not know
You see I have been chosen to bear fruit that is Divine
For God has said it is by your love 
that they will know you’re Mine
This is why the pruning, this is why the pain,
For people to see My love for them 
is the reason that I came
Sharon Trumps

I don’t want my relationship with Jesus to be defined by the circumstances of my life. My life isn’t my circumstances, it is Him, and He is above all of the things I encounter or walk through in the day to day of my life. Have you ever felt like you were in a season encompassed by situations that were beyond your control that ended up lasting for much longer than you expected?  Then it seems, at least for me sometimes, that instead of your relationship with Christ being about His love for you and your love for Him the circumstances are like some big elephant that’s just there with you all the time even when your spending time with Him. 

The whole purpose of Him coming and His sacrifice was love, but the reality of that so easily gets lost in the winter seasons of life. Sometimes I have to remind myself that Jesus is in the winter season as much as in the spring, summer and fall. They are all necessary for the development and growth of fruit which is what He has appointed for us to bring forth. The funny thing is that the only way a branch can produce fruit is by just abiding in the vine and the only real way to abide is by surrendering.  When the branch has been pruned and looks so barren it is still just as much a part of the vine as it is when its boughs are full of wonderful sweet fruit that is not only seen but smelled.

Father, how easy it is to lose sight that you are the Gardener, the one doing the pruning and You love the branches just as much when they have been pruned and appear almost dead as You do when they are bearing fruit. At times I become so preoccupied with the state of being pruned I lose sight of you in the process. I am sorry. Your love for us has nothing to do with the circumstances of life being good or bad. It is easy to forget that sometimes, especially if we feel guilty for the pruning that is going on because we forget that we must be pruned in order to become more fruitful. 

November 4, 2016

Calling Us By Name

I see a door standing open in heaven
And I hear the voice of God
Calling his sons and daughters
To appear before His throne.
He is summoning each one of us
Calling us my name
He wants our full attention
That we will not live the same.
"Come up here, come up here to the place you are to dwell
For the water you are seeking 
is only found in Me who is the well.
I am the well of living water that never shall run dry
It is My water only that will satisfy.
I want the rivers in you to overflow their banks, for
The move of My spirit that's coming won't be about your rank.
Each one of you has been equipped 
for the task that is at hand
to manifest My authority and power 
so My Kingdom can advance.
For you are the called and chosen
By the One who rules and reigns 
over all principality and power
Who has the Name above all names.
Will you answer the call you're hearing
To come boldly to My throne
For there is a move of My spirit coming
Unlike any man has ever known.
It's not coming down from heaven
but from your rivers that are within
And the weight of My glory upon you is where it will begin.
There is nothing that will escape these rivers as they flow
My question to you is, "Are you willing to let go?"
Of what was comfortable and what was safe
From the season that was before, 
for these are what will keep you From the open door.
The place I have assigned to you
Isn't by chance or happenstance
But by the wisdom of the Lord who wants you to advance.
To overtake the darkness that's coming on the earth
Not just rest in the comfort of knowing
You have had a spiritual birth.
Sharon Trumps



The Kingdom of God



There is a kingdom we do not see
that dwells within you and me.
It is the kingdom of God which I speak
It’s not a kingdom in the sweet by and by
somewhere beyond a starlit sky.
But the kingdom that dwells in the depths of our heart
God by his Spirit did impart.
When we surrender our lives to the Creator of man
we enter in to the unfolding of Gods eternal plan
Of this kingdom there will be no end
and to become great in His kingdom
then your knee you must bend.
For he who would be greatest among you
must become servant of all
to those who are willing this is the call.
The kingdom of God of which I speak
is not for the proud and arrogant, but the meek.
It’s not for those who want to look wise,
but those who are willing to sell all they have
to possess a pearl of great price
that can’t even be seen by human eyes.
To possess this kingdom you must understand
you cannot follow the wisdom of man.
For the world in its wisdom crucified the Lord
and the preaching of the cross is totally absurd.
But God in his wisdom redeemed mankind
through the foolishness of what was preached
to those who are willing to trust and believe.
Yes, there is a kingdom that flesh and blood cannot inherit
but only obtained through Gods spirit. 
To possess this kingdom that’s not of this earth
there has to be a spiritual birth.
When you’re willing to confess you are dying in your sin
and invite Jesus as your savior The King of Glory to come in
He will wash away your past and give you eyes to see
His kingdom that will last for all eternity.
Sharon Trumps 05

November 2, 2016

Prison

I see myself standing at a doorway of the prison I have lived in for so long.  Jesus is standing there holding my hand, leading me out.  Yet I see that I hesitate.  I want so much to just wholly and completely trust the one who has my hand but the truth is I know in my heart I am afraid.  I trust as much as I know how, just not to the degree I want to and know he deserves. It isn’t the darkness beyond the doorway but the brightness of the light that scares me.  I look back and see how well I have decorated my prison.  How I took the religious traditions and built furniture and the shame I used as blankets to cover my nakedness.  Even previous words and instructions of the Lord decorate my walls.  Snapshots of previous journeys we have taken together put in frames, give a sense of comfort in the familiarity that is there.  I find the freedom he offers me overwhelming, as is his unconditional love and mercy that meets me in his eyes.  But it’s His smile, His goodness, His plans for my future.  Why is it so hard to let go? I have been here before, it should be easier.  He is bidding me to come, to let go of all I have known, all I don’t understand and can’t figure out.  Sometimes the hardest thing to let go of was the place of freedom Jesus took us to before.  But eventually even that becomes a place of bondage that squelches the liberty with which Christ has set us free.  The calling of Jesus crosses every barrier, including our preconceived ideas of religious freedom as spirit filled believers who consider our selves followers, disciples if you will.  Yet he will continually challenge our belief; test our loyalty and devotion to Him who is the fulfillment of the law, the radiance of Gods glory and exact representation of His being.  The one who is the Hope of glory, who has come to dwell in the heart of each of us who said yes.  But, we must keep saying yes.   
January 2016

October 31, 2016

Fallow Ground

After meditating on the Pastors message yesterday on the parable of the sower which was probably the best I have heard on the subject, I have had a few thoughts, well maybe more than a few. 

I responded to the alter call afterwards, I very rarely let an opportunity pass by to allow the Holy Spirit to deal with anything I might be overlooking.  I so much do not want to be the person with the heart in which the word is choked by thorns. It is something I have even routinely prayed about.. However, I knew yesterday that was me at that moment even though I didn't completely understand why.  I couldn’t help but find myself feeling that Pastor Paul's description of the plant with all the foliage yet no fruit could not describe me better, or at least that is how I feel.  While I would not ever describe myself as a superficial Christian, but to be honest recently that is how I have felt. It was not until today that I understand why.  The Lord had recently revealed to me through a dream that I was being influenced by a religious spirit although I was at a loss initially to understanding ‘how’. The most common ways we imagine that spirit operates in manifesting is in being judgmental, not free in our worship, holding to the traditions of man etc... but that isn’t the way it was manifesting in my life which I believe is the reason it went undetected.  

In his message Pastor Paul said, one of the things that will cause our hearts to get hard besides sin, is not dealing with past hurts.  While I have extensively dealt with hurts from way in the past, I was not dealing with the more recent hurts and pain of loss I have experienced the past couple years, at least not to the degree I need to. Possibly just enough to be compared to putting a band aid on, which I of all people know is never enough.  The world is full of people who live their whole life that way and I believe is the reason so many Christians never live the abundant life Christ died for us to have.  While my intentions for not doing so had the appearance of being right, the results have made it obvious it was the enemy masquerading as an angel of light.

I am not one to ‘play’ the victim and totally refuse to embrace a victim mentality.  While the idea in itself is good, I had done that to the extent that I was not being honest with myself or God about the pain and hurt that is occupying my heart.  I do not want what I have been through to become my identity nor the pain and grief either.  I also wrongly believed that acknowledging the pain, grief etc. was somehow accusing God of wrong doing, which I know in my heart would be wrong, but again it was the enemy masquerading as an angel of light.  I should know better, I have already written about this very subject.  I guess because in the past the hurt and pain were caused before I came to know the Lord, or because I didn’t obey Him or was the result of what someone else did, it somehow took on a different form altogether.  This time was different in that so much of what I have experienced was the result of ‘obeying’ rather than not. Think of the disciples obeying Jesus to get in the boat to go to the other side of the lake, only to find themselves in the middle of a storm.  Sometimes it is easy to assume obedience means everything will be hunky dory. Oh, how wrong we can be!  

For whatever reason I could not reconcile acknowledging my pain as a result of obedience with out it seeming like I was blaming God for the fact that I hurt if that makes sense, which is why I just ignored it.  I thought it was the only thing to do.  I also thought that was the thing to do if I was moving forward in faith.  Somehow I was deceived into thinking that confronting the pain and sense of loss I feel was synonymous with doubt and unbelief, which as anyone who knows me knows, is another thing I won’t tolerate in myself. Much of this is the affect of being influenced by the ‘religious spirit’ that God revealed to me in my dream.  

My preconceived idea of what loving God with all my heart is suppose to look like and the reality of it not matching left me feeling that the only thing to do was to just keep putting one foot in front of the other with the expectation that over time the pain would go away.  However, in the process I was actually ignoring what was going on. 

 I am sitting and listening to soaking music, something I have not done for a long time, only because of the pain it causes me to feel.  It reminds me of when I used to listen to it all the time and soak in His presence which in turn caused me to dream, to dream dreams that I only partially experienced come to pass.  But at the same time it takes me back to my prayer room, to what my life was like at another time, another season.  Somehow I have believed that missing my life as it once was is like Israel coming out of Egypt and not being willing to move into the land of promise.  My self not wanting to be guilty of the same thing had refused to ‘feel’ fearing I would be doing just that. Such a lie!  

I had suspected for some time that part of the reason the Lord led me out of my job was for the purpose of giving me time to ‘deal’ with some things I was previously ignoring to some extent due to a lack of time.  Unfortunately, due to the deception I have been walking in, the more distant the Lord seemed to be the more unwilling I was to face my pain believing that what my pain and grief were saying about me is the reason He was distant to begin with.  Again, such a LIE! The only thing that has kept me grounded is knowing I had heard from Him in my decisions which have changed my life so much to begin with. I accepted a transfer with work which moved me to Katy and in that process I was also led to physically leave a marriage that had been failing for several years.  Six months after my transfer I was led to leave my job altogether. While all of that was going on I also lost my house which God had miraculously kept us in for six years.  I felt like acknowledging the pain and grief was saying to Him that what He had already done wasn’t enough.  The fact is that no matter what the grief or pain I feel over losing my house says about me, I have to acknowledge it.  I can’t keep sweeping it under the rug and pretend it isn’t there.  It’s not like Jesus loves me less even if hurting over it does mean something I would rather it didn’t.  I miss my house; I miss my yard, I miss being outside with the flowers and the birds and lizards.  I miss hearing my pool running. I miss my cats which I also lost, one to running away, the other to getting hit by a car while in the care of someone else.  I miss my kitchen.  I miss my prayer room and the time I would spend there with the Lord.  I miss walking in the expectation of Him showing up and saving us, saving our house.  I miss life with Mitch before the strokes, before breast cancer, before going to work.  I miss the times we spent after work in the pool, cooking dinner at 8 at night in the summer. I miss a lot.  I have to own that regardless of what is says about me or my heart or my love for God for that matter.  It is who I am, at least at present.   It doesn’t mean I don’t want to move on with God, but I of all people know that if I am to move on I have to let Him heal me, all of me.  In order to do that I have to be honest with Him about what is really there and whether the intention was right or wrong it isn’t something I have been able to do until now.  

I know this post is long, but it is probably one of the most raw, honest things I have posted in a while. My previous work did not afford me much time for reflection which ultimately affected my writing and in turn affected posting to this blog.  I write as I do because this is real and authentic  life with Jesus from the heart of a person who really does love God. God doesn't walk with people whose lives are perfect and pretty all the time, the people he used in the bible is evidence of that.  


That's not the end of my story.....there are promises God has given which give us hope! 



HOPE
                                                                          
  

  
October 31, 2016