Dance With Me

I see the Lord coming to me. I feel His unconditional love, His mercy, His grace. His consuming desire for me! He has chosen me for this dance, but all I can think is, why?  Why are you so drawn to me?  Why do you want me?  Don't you see the filthy rags I see, don't you smell the stench of this flesh, don't you see the impurity of a heart that wasn't set wholly on you? Yet, He wants me still.  He not only longs for my presence, He longs to pour His love on me, for He knows why I sought other lovers.  My gaze must be upon Him, not myself, not my sin, not my failures or weaknesses.  None of that speaks to Him of my heart for Him and He knows that.  You see He does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities.  He remembers how we are made, He remembers that we are dust. 

Can you relate? Have you had an experience that has left you still feeling shame and guilt of knowing your heart was not totally set on Him.   Have you experienced a season where your ability to perceive His presence, His nearness to you left you feeling vulnerable? Vulnerable enough to occupy yourself with things that previously were no longer a part of your life.  Not necessarily 'bad' things, but as Paul said, all things (may) be lawful, but not all things are expedient.  He knows the tears we shed over falling short of His glory.  He has loved us with an everlasting love and has drawn us with His loving-kindness.  

I see a room full of people wanting so much for Him to pick them to dance with.  I see people whose garments 'appear' perfect; no spot, no wrinkle, nothing that seems less than what He would desire. But He sees beyond the outward appearance, He sees their hearts.  He sees their pride, their self righteousness and the lack of sorrow over it.  He sees the lack of true desire to be what He desires for himself.  He has made us worthy of His love, His attention, His gaze, His care, His provision.  His blood alone is enough in this place.  This is the Jesus I know, and the Jesus I desire for everyone to know. 

Worthy

Jesus you are worthy of a holy life,

worthy of my sacrifice,

worthy of all I am,

all I can give,

all of my heart,

this life I live

You alone are worthy........

I am sorry it took me so long to realize that.  Holy Spirit help me live a life that is wholly pleasing and honorable to Him the King of Kings.  Help me to quit wallowing in the pig pen, you can't wallow in the pig pen for even a minute without getting pig slop on you, yet Jesus comes and wipes the slop off our face and kisses us, not because we are clean but because He knows how grieved we are in our hearts that we're not.  New garments white and clean are given us to wear.  Garments fit for the King who has called us to His chambers....as we walk He proudly puts us on display before the powers and principalities of darkness, those that despised us, mocked us, scorned us and did everything they could to disqualify us to become His not understanding that the one thing they can't stand against, can't come against, and can't overcome, they helped supply.....His blood.  The blood of Christ himself offered through the eternal Spirit that forever perfects those who answer the call and accept the invitation of the Divine love of the ages who has paid for our sins and opened up the way to His heart.

He does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities.  For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is His love for those who fear Him;  as far as the east is from the west so far has He removed our transgressions from us.  As a father has compassion on his children so the Lord has compassion on those who fear Him for he knows how we are formed, He remembers that we are dust. Psalm 103:10-14

Graceful Self Acceptance

  It started with me looking at my feet and in gratitude thanking Jesus for giving me the ability to like myself. There was a time when I didn’t like anything about myself and getting saved didn’t initially change that. Becoming aware of the unconditional love and acceptance of Jesus did, but it has been a process over time. Jesus said in John 8:31-32 “If you continue in my teaching you are my disciples. And you shall know the truth and the truth shall make you free”. The key is to continue seeking Him and abiding in Him.

I thought back to childhood realizing only in retrospect that I was among a company of kids that were more like me rather than not. We all want to be loved, to be accepted for who we “really” are rather than what everyone else wants us to be. But when we lack the identity of belonging to God we are left to fend for ourselves to fill the void.

I spent years never knowing what I really liked or didn’t like simply because out of a need for acceptance I would like what the girl who everyone else was friends with liked or didn’t like. I couldn’t even have told you my favorite color, I just didn’t know because I was too afraid I might be rejected for it. It was that way with just about everything. Maybe you can relate, maybe not, but if so you know the routine went something like this. You look for the person who seems happy, who has a ton of friends, whose life appears to be better than the one you’re living and you think to yourself, if I just had that shirt or that pair of shoes or maybe their hair, then I would be happy and have a ton of friends too. The reality is we just end up more disappointed because there isn’t anything external that will make a lasting change in what we think about ourselves on the inside. Proverbs 23:7 tells us that as a man thinks in his heart, so is he. The more we do this the more hurt we suffer and the higher we build walls to protect us. Unfortunately there are some kids who grow up and as adults live the same way, but with much more expensive stuff, like houses and cars and designer clothes, or occupational positions and titles. Searching for significance in all things external, being disappointed over and over again.

I have witnessed this same behavior in church among people who have not yet been healed of the wounds of living lives I describe above and was one of them at one time. I looked at others in the church who seemed happy, who appeared to be living the victorious Christian life and tried to fashion myself after them, just like when I was a child. Sometimes the people I sought to fashion myself after were no more victorious than I. The problem is that Jesus created us all unique and as we learn to dwell in His unconditional love and acceptance we find out who we really are.

If we don't hide ourselves in Christ and allow Him to become our fortified place we will erect all kind of false structures in order to feel secure, which are destined to fall sooner or later.

We may temporarily wall ourselves off from hurt but we also wall ourselves off from love, not only other peoples love, but Jesus' love as well. He is such a gentleman. He doesn’t come with a wrecking ball and demolish whatever wall you have built to hide behind, he dismantles it a brick at a time through His love and mercy accepting you right where you are, even if other people don’t. I love that about Him. He is the safest place we will ever find to be ourselves. The truth is he already knows everything about us and loves us anyway.

Poem: Only You