Disillusioned

     I have come to the conclusion that sooner or later every Christian becomes disillusioned at some point. For some it is early on, for others it is later on, but eventually we find that we cannot reconcile being a Christian with the discontentment we feel, the disappointment, or dissatisfaction with life, but I don’t think we are suppose to. What is worse we feel horribly guilty for it, not to mention there is no shortage of preachers who in their lack of authenticity will tell you it’s your fault.

     Our inability to sustain the  fulfillment we do experience only adds to the guilt. Sometimes we suppose it is because we are not fulfilling our purpose, assuming we have even figured out what that is, sometimes and more often, we think it is because something is “wrong” with us. How many times have you asked yourself what is wrong with me? I should be happier, I should be ……… you fill in the blank. So many feel like they should be something other than what they are. We forget that we are a very long way from home and the way Father intended things to be for us. Being in relationship with Him at its best only gives us a glimpse of what it will be like one day and what it would have been like had sin not entered the Garden. We were made for so much more than we will ever experience while on this earth, and no matter how much of our purpose we are fulfilling, no matter how “right” we may be living our life, eternity calls out to us unconsciously reminding us this isn’t all there is, don’t forget that.    

     I have also found, the closer to Jesus I get, the more discontent I feel on this earth. Somehow I think rather than it being because something is “wrong” I believe it is because something is “right”.