Recently during a ‘conversation’ with the Lord, although admittedly I was doing most of the talking, I told Him, “I feel like I have failed in so many areas of my life”. He asked me , “Do you feel that way because you think you should be happier than you are, or because of difficult circumstances? You forget you live in an environment I never intended for you to live in. You can’t measure your success by the world’s standards, neither can you measure it by the presence or absence of trials. You're still standing, you're still seeking me, you're still looking past today into your tomorrow because of promises I have given you." Of course this completely changed how I was feeling, His words always do. Let me explain why I said what I said...................
There was a time when desiring to be married and have a family were considered a noble pursuit for any girl, but things began to change during my high school years as more and more woman began entering the work force. I now know it was due to the war at that time, but as a teenager that was not something I was aware of. Sadly I have sensed the same thing happening in the body of Christ, just a lot less obvious. I have wondered if any other women have felt the same thing. To me it feels like a wave has hit women as a whole as they have come into more and more freedom in Christ and realize being a Christian woman isn’t a death sentence for the gifts and talents God has given us. While I can appreciate as anyone would this ‘new found freedom’ across the board, it’s more the attitude I have been sensing that bothers me. Remember, freedom is about just that, freedom to be whatever God has called you to be, but walking authentically in that kind of freedom only comes if our identity is rooted and grounded in Christ.
Understand this isn’t something I have gotten from just going to church; it is something that I am picking up between the lines everywhere I turn in all the different forms of Christian media. While I have not succumb to being someone I am not, I must admit I have questioned what I perceive my calling to be and whether or not I heard correctly. If you as a woman have never faced that challenge you are rare indeed. Understand it is not a lack of vision or devaluing women who work outside of the home that would contradict the heart of this post, but rather an earnest desire to give myself to fulfilling God's destiny in my life which at present seems to contradict the circumstances I find myself in. I have never desired to have a 'career' as some women have, and at times it seems my vision is somewhat at odds with what I perceive others think it should be, if that makes any sense.
I was reminded of something the bible says in 1 John about the lust of the eyes, the lust of the flesh but in particular the pride of life. These were the things that caused Eve to be deceived by the devil and then disobey God in the garden of Eden. Things haven’t changed. The devils tactics have evolved, but what he seeks to latch onto in us has not. The bottom line is simply obeying God, period. Whether that puts you at home working or getting a degree or having a career. In the end part of our fulfillment in this life comes from knowing we are doing what God has created us to do which at times will mean we will have to choose whose praise we desire, mans or God's. As Jesus said, if I seek the praise of men, I wouldn't be a servant of God. There are times when serving God will cost us the approval of man but there is nothing more rewarding than feeling the delight of the Lord inside knowing He is well pleased.
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