I will bring the blind by a way they did not know. I will lead them in paths they have not known. I will make darkness light before them and crooked places straight. These things I will do for them and not forsake them. Isaiah 42:16
August of 2013 It is a bittersweet day for me knowing that I am stepping into a new season, knowing it is Gods doing yet struggling with letting go of the past, letting go of what is familiar and at one time safe. Stepping out of our comfort zone isn't easy even when we are sure it is God that is prodding us to move on. We are likened to sheep in scripture for a reason. Just as sheep have to be herded to other pastures to graze because where they have been grazing has become bare, so Jesus our Shepherd has to prod us on to greener pastures because just like sheep we would continue to graze in a pasture that can no longer sustain us.
Letting go of the life I have known for 12 years of being in business with my husband has been a process that actually began last year. Having a home office afforded me a lot of control over my schedule making it easier to tend to my responsibilities as a wife and mother. As any woman knows who has had being a wife and mother a major part of her identity, letting go of that isn't easy especially if it is a role in which you were satisfied and fulfilled. To me this is really what dying to self is about, not all the religious stuff it has come to be known as. No matter how uncomfortable we may feel about what we have to do, when we are being led by the Spirit we have that witness on the inside that lets us know it is God who is leading us and not something we are doing on our own. How grateful I am for this for I have to say there were days I think I would have turned back had I not had that witness. It is so much easier to discern the Spirits leading when we walk in a place of intimacy with the Lord that has brought our soul into submission to our spirit.
I must be about my Fathers business and for that reason I go forth, not because of money, but because of souls. Because of the hearts He desires to gather to himself. Time is so very short.
I have been so very blessed to have been able to sit at the feet of the Lord, to stand with him on the mount of transfiguration changing my perception of Him in my own heart thereby bringing about my own transformation. We read in the last chapter of Matthew that after Jesus had risen that the eleven disciples went away into Galilee to the mountain which Jesus had appointed for them. It is interesting to note that the definition of Galilee is 'heathen circle'. Jesus had told the disciples to tarry in Jerusalem until they received the Promise of the Father, that being the baptism of the Holy Spirit. I waited as the Lord instructed me also, waiting through circumstances that screamed at me to go forth before it was Gods time but it is the Lord we must yield to not our circumstances, our feelings or even our reasoning and logic. I have learned over the years these things are often contrary to the instruction of the Lord, which is why His peace is so important for us because it does not depend on anything in the natural realm, just His presence.
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